'My Grief Is Overwhelming': Wife Of Man Killed By Fleeing Robbery Suspects Asks Others To Honor Husband With Kindness, Generosity

LAKEWOOD, Colo. (CBS4) -- Seventy-four-year-old Christopher Avery was driving to the grocery store. Three other people were fleeing an alleged robbery at the same time.

Their cars collided. Their lives collided. Avery's life ended.

Those facts are simple in their form but unbelievably heavy and complex in their outcome, according to Avery's widow, Kathryn Severns Avery.

"It is easy to torture ourselves as we read and think about this event by pondering what would have happened if my husband and the three suspects had each made different choices," Kathryn Avery wrote to CBS4 Thursday afternoon, six days after the fatal crash. "Every choice has a consequence, either positive or negative...Far too often our choices are mindless. Now is the time to change this and to become mindful of our choices and the effects they have on ourselves and others."

What we know, according to a timeline provided by a spokesperson from the Lakewood Police Department, is that LPD officers responded to a robbery in progress at the Ulta Beauty store located at 489 S. Wadsworth Boulevard just before 2 p.m. last Friday.

As officers arrived, a red Mitsubishi Galant with three people inside departed at a high rate of speed.

Little more than a mile later, their choices, their car and their lives intersected with Avery and his silver Honda near the intersection of W. 1st Avenue and South Harlan Street.

The as-yet unidentified occupants of the Galant were taken to the hospital.

Avery was pronounced at the scene.

Lakewood PD's spokesman, John Romero, stated later that officers were not in pursuit of the Gallant at the time of the crash.

What we do not know is whether there was a pursuit at any point during LPD's response. Nor do we know if the suspects were armed or actually obtained any money during the robbery. Nor whether they are still in the hospital or behind bars.

At some point, we will get those answers.

That leaves the most obvious and pressing question, and the one with no guaranteed answer. The question coming from a wife suddenly left without her husband.

Why?

"We all feel helpless in such a moment of tragedy, but what can we do?" Kathryn Avery wrote. "My grief, and the grief of those who knew and loved Chris, is overwhelming."

Then she proceeded to answer her own question.

"Taking action gives us a sense of being in control. With so many others suffering from the economic devastation of the pandemic, losing jobs, and experiencing financial, food, and housing insecurity, as well as facing COVID and non-COVID related illnesses, we all can honor my husband's memory by finding a way to reach out and help others who are hurting.

"Make a donation to a food pantry or non-profit of your choice in memory of Chris," she continued. "Share your good fortune, talent, and skills with someone who needs them. Listen, really listen, to others with an open and caring attitude, seeking to understand rather than to be understood. Make a choice to take action to make a difference and think of Chris when you do. Turn a collective sense of helplessness into a powerful movement for good. Nothing makes you feel better faster than helping someone else.

"There's so much wrong with the world right now. Let's use this senseless tragedy to do something right."

Kathryn Avery's Full Statement to CBS4:

The senseless killing on Friday of my husband, Christopher, in his car by three robbery suspects fleeing their crime has struck a nerve and opened the hearts of many in our community. The compassion and support expressed by complete strangers on the Lakewood Police Department's Facebook page, along with those by my friends and family members, is breathtaking and heartwarming to me.

It is easy to torture ourselves as we read and think about this event by pondering what would have happened if my husband and the three suspects had each made different choices. My husband simply chose to drive to pick up some groceries, an innocent, every-day task. The robbery suspects chose to commit a crime and drive recklessly that day, endangering others.  Every choice has a consequence, either positive or negative and each choice we make affects our next choice by reinforcing that decision and outcome. Simply put, a bad choice makes the next bad choice easier just as a good choice increases the chances of making another good choice. Far too often our choices are mindless. Now is the time to change this and to become mindful of our choices and the effects they have on ourselves and others.

We all feel helpless in such a moment of tragedy, but what can we do? Make better choices, even when they are difficult. I choose to not have this experience ruin my life and to find a way to honor my husband's life by inspiring others to make positive choices and changes.

My grief, and the grief of those who knew and loved Chris, is overwhelming. But taking action gives us a sense of being in control. With so many others suffering from the economic devastation of the pandemic, losing jobs, and experiencing financial, food, and housing insecurity, as well as facing COVID and non-COVID related illnesses, we all can honor my husband's memory by finding a way to reach out and help others who are hurting.

Make a donation to a food pantry or non-profit of your choice in memory of Chris. Share your good fortune, talent, and skills with someone who needs them. Listen, really listen, to others with an open and caring attitude, seeking to understand rather than to be understood. Make a choice to take action to make a difference and think of Chris when you do. Turn a collective sense of helplessness into a powerful movement for good. Nothing makes you feel better faster than helping someone else. There's so much wrong with the world right now. Let's use this senseless tragedy to do something right.

The job of notifying a victim's family has to be the hardest job on earth. I would like to thank the team from the Lakewood Police Department who had the horrible job of notifying me that my world had just been shattered. Your compassion and professionalism are exemplary.

My journey forward from this tragedy is just beginning. During this holiday time of year that should be filled with joy and hope, I ask you to join me in making mindful choices and changes so my husband did not die in vain.