DENVER (CBS4) – Current times are proving to be stressful, and that stress can be amplified at home with more people staying in due to quarantines. As a result, romantic relationships can be impacted in a lasting way.
“We are in a crisis of public health and finances, but many couples don’t realize that this may be a crisis for their relationship,” Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby told CBS4’s Mekialaya White via Skype.
Bobby heads up an online counseling company in Colorado called “Growing Self,” where she helps couples navigate through conflict. The spread of COVID-19, coupled with the amount of time spent at home, has added to that list of issues.
“The way couples manage this can set the course for either strengthening their relationship or damaging it,” said Bobby. “There are a few different things that couples are struggling with. First of all, everything just changed in terms of both people working from home, needing to negotiate child care and homeschooling potentially. There’s a lot of stuff that needs to be discussed and negotiated.”
Bobby emphasizes that compromise with your partner is key, especially right now. “I always tell couples they need to prioritize being kind over being correct. Because you’re probably right, but if it creates conflict in your relationship it’s not worth it. So, it’s okay to be generous and to prioritize your partner’s feelings.”
She also noted the spike in divorces across China, once a month-long quarantine was lifted earlier this month.
“Many of these couples needed each other and experienced being rejected or invalidated. Or the fact that they weren’t emotionally supported by their partner during the time they needed them most. That created a wound that felt irreparable to them,” Bobby explained.
Those wounds can be avoided with acts of compassion. She also encourages the platinum rule over the golden rule with a significant other.
“The platinum rule is treat your partner like they want to be treated. If your partner feels loved and cared for by talking about things, be generous and kind. And prioritize their feelings when they need you. Also, be open about what you need so they know how to love and support you.”
Dr. Bobby also offers marriage counseling and free resources on her website growingself.com.