CENTENNIAL, Colo. (AP) — Colorado theater shooter James Holmes’ notebook provides the most comprehensive look yet into what he described as his “broken” mind.

Just before the 2012 attack that killed 12 and injured 70, Holmes mailed the notebook to a University of Colorado psychiatrist who treated him. It was made public Wednesday, a day after it was introduced as evidence in his trial.



The notebook opens with drawings of stick figures, one standing, the rest presumably dead, and a series of equations that appear to try to evaluate whether a “murderer” gains value by killing people.

(credit: CBS)

(credit: CBS)

“Can a person have both no value AND be ultimately good AND/OR ultimately evil?” Holmes writes. “Unknown.”



Holmes details various mental issues, diagnosing himself as suffering from schizophrenia, generalized anxiety disorder, psychosis and other illnesses.

He writes that he goes catatonic for up to five hours at a time, pulls his hair and obsesses about various parts of his body.

“The real me is fighting the biological me,” Holmes writes.

LIVE VIDEO: Watch The Trial Live At CBS4’s Theater Shooting Trial Special Section

He also details an obsession with mass killing: “And, finally, the last escape, mass murder at the movies. Obsession onset (more than) 10 years ago. So, anyways, that’s my mind. It’s broken. I tried to fix it.”



Under the heading “The Shrinks,” Holmes lists psychiatrists or doctors he has visited.

He writes: “Prevent building false sense of rapport. Speak truthfully and deflect incriminating questions. Oddly they don’t pursue or delve farther into harmful omissions.”

He concludes with: “Embrace the hatred, a dark knight rises,” an apparent reference to the moving showing at the time he opened fire.



Holmes lists various possible methods of violence, from attacking an airport to serial killing.

“Targets random,” he writes. “The cruel twists of fate are unkind to the misfortunate.”



Holmes diagrammed various theaters at the suburban Denver complex, marking exit doors, evaluating his own visibility, even locating the best parking spots.

He listed pros and cons for attacks on each theater.

He drew a map of the theater complex and a nearby National Guard facility and police station and wrote: “ETA Response (about) 3 mins.”

(© Copyright 2015 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)


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