ARVADA, Colo. (CBS4) – Less than four hours before William Lindauer allegedly spray painted “My Wife Is A Cheater” on his family’s home and then set the house on fire, he blogged about his anger.

In the lengthy blog post, Lindauer suggested he wanted to end his life. He addressed his family and friends with many chilling statements, including this opening sentence:

I am writing this letter to tell you how much I appreciated my life and loved each one of you.

He explained in the blog that he and his wife were working on rebuilding their relationship after a separation the year before.

Lindauer wrote the couple was seeing a therapist but that he still didn’t trust his wife, writing:

I decided to buy a tracking device and see what she was up to.

Lindauer then described following her every move and confronting her about where she had been.

William Lindauer (credit: CBS)

William Lindauer (credit: CBS)

The blog is consistent with Lindauer’s arrest affidavit in describing how Lindauer’s wife took their three young children to live with her parents.

Both documents also confirm Lindauer was taking anxiety medication, but in his online letter he admits he started doubling his dosage, adding:

I decide that today is the *expletive* day that I’m gonna end my madness and pain.

Lindauer then wrote that he went to Cabela’s in Thornton and bought a gun. He also showed a photograph of his receipt.

When he told police about the fire, he said he “intended to hurt himself and he would never hurt anyone else.”

His blog ended with a goodbye to his kids, saying in part:

I hate that I will not be there to see you grow … I love you so much.”

Lindauer is facing numerous charges including arson and reckless endangerment after Tuesday’s fire. He is also facing an animal cruelty charge because a pet fish inside didn’t survive.

Lindauer is being held at the Jefferson County Jail on a $50,000 bond.

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