TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: Football Tie Vs. Necktie As A Holiday Gift

As many of you saw, the San Francisco 49ers tied the St. Louis Rams this weekend, which was awful because ties are boring and stupid. After all that buildup, all we got was the blandest outcome imaginable. Kind of like getting a necktie as a holiday present. So what’s the bigger letdown, a tie, or a tie?

Football Tie
Necktie Holiday Gift
St Louis Rams v San Francisco 49ers
tie
HIGHLY ANTICIPATED BUILDUP?
Winner WOOOOO!
Winner OH YEAH!
IMMEDIATE REACTION AFTER SEING IT'S A TIE?
Winner ...aww
Winner ...oh
WERE YOU EXPECTING SOMETHING AWESOME?
Winner Potentially, if your team wins. Heck, even a loss would be a resolution.
Not after 20, but, like, give me a book or something!
ANGRY THOUGHT A FEW MINUTES LATER?
Winner "I got drunk for nothing!"
"I guess I'll wear this at work, which is a place I love going to all the time."
SLAPDASH ENCOURAGEMENT FROM OTHERS?
"Europeans love soccer, and they tie all the time!"
Winner "Europeans love ties! They wear them all the time!"
RELATED TO ALEX SMITH'S CONCUSSION?
Pfft. Yes.
Winner Wh-...no...?

We'll Just Call it a Tie

St Louis Rams v San Francisco 49ers tie

IT'S...oh. It's a tie.

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

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    Tale Of The Tape: San Francisco 49ers At Denver Broncos

    The 49ers have gotten off to a halting start this year, and they have not played their best football even in the games they have won.

  2. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images) (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Houston Texans At Pittsburgh Steelers

    The Texans have been pushing hard in recent weeks and nearly got the best of the Cowboys and the Colts, but they couldn’t get past either one.

  3. (Photo by Rich Schultz /Getty Images) (Photo by Steve Dykes/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: New York Giants At Dallas Cowboys

    Eli Manning and the Giants took it on the chin in their Week Six loss at Philadelphia, and they won’t have any time to sit back and feel sorry for themselves in this game at Dallas.

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