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Tale of the tape

  1. ST. LOUIS, MO - OCTOBER 6: Maurice Jones-Drew #32 of the Jacksonville Jaguars rushes against the St. Louis Rams at the Edward Jones Dome on October 6, 2013 in St. Louis, Missouri. The Rams beat the Jaguars 34-20. DENVER, CO - AUGUST 24: Quarterback Peyton Manning #18 of the Denver Broncos in action before playing the St. Louis Rams at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on August 24, 2013 in Denver, Colorado.
    Tale Of The Tape: Jacksonville Jaguars At Denver Broncos

    The Jaguars had a semblance of an offense against the St. Louis Rams in Week Five, but that’s hardly going to be enough against the overpowering Denver Broncos.

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    More Impressive Stats? Denver Broncos Offense Vs. Playing Madden On “Easy”

    The Broncos are on pace to break some crazy impressive records. But how do the 2013 Broncos measure up against when I play Madden on easy?

  3. St. Louis Rams v Denver Broncos New York Giants v Dallas Cowboys
    Tale Of The Tape: Denver Broncos At Dallas Cowboys

    Peyton Manning is running away with the MVP award at this point, and there’s no reason to think he is going to slow down any time soon.

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    The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”

    Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?

    In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:

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    One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

    Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.

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    Tale Of The Tape: Philadelphia Eagles At Denver Broncos

    The Eagles started the season in explosive fashion vs. the Redskins in Week One, but they have struggled since then.