TALE OF THE TAPE

One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

Nate Burleson's Pizza
DiGiorno
natecredit1.jpg
digiornocredit1.jpg
Delivery?
Winner Probably not. Unless he was the one delivering it. In which case, his agent’s gotta get him a new contract.
Not...sure. If only there was some resource to tell us whether or not DiGiorno was delivered or not.
Level of Risk?
One would assume “low”, but, well, here we are.
Winner Low.
Worst Risk of Injury?
Winner Burned tongue; crippling diarrhea
An arm shattered in two places, apparently.
Ready for action after consumption?
November, best case scenario
Winner The next day, unless he went heavy on the red pepper flakes.
Conspiracy Theory Moment?
Winner MAYbe...he got the pizza from an establishment owned by a Packers fan!
Winner MAYbe...it actually IS delivery! Wait, who cares?
Worth crashing a car over?
Winner Depends. Was it meat lovers?
Heavens, I can’t imagine.

The Winner Is

natecredit1.jpg
Winner Nate Burleson's Pizza
4 out of 6

With a score of 4-3, Nate Burleson’s fracture pizza somehow takes the edge! Looks like you party people had better stick to Elio’s.

-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. FOXBORO, MA - OCTOBER 16: Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots reacts after throwing a touchdown pass during the fourth quarter against the New York Jets at Gillette Stadium on October 16, 2014 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. Airdancer
    Tom Brady Vs. An Airdancer, Who Is Floppier?

    Tom Brady seemed to flop in a recent Pats-Jets game. How does he stand up to one of those inflatable things you see outside of car dealers?

  2. DENVER, CO - OCTOBER 19: Quarterback Peyton Manning #18 of the Denver Broncos drops back to throw on what would be his 509th career touchdown pass in the second quarter of a game against the San Francisco 49ers at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on October 19, 2014 in Denver, Colorado. HOLLYWOOD, CA - MARCH 02: Actor Matthew McConaughey poses in the press room during the Oscars at Loews Hollywood Hotel on March 2, 2014 in Hollywood, California.
    Peyton Manning’s TD Record Or Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar More Expected?

    Peyton Manning broke the career TD record. Everyone knew it was coming. But was it as expected as Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar?

  3. (Photo by Michael Thomas/Getty Images) Peyton Manning #18 of the Denver Broncos yells to teammates in the second quarter during a game against the New York Jets at MetLife Stadium on October 12, 2014 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.  (Photo by Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: San Francisco 49ers At Denver Broncos

    The 49ers have gotten off to a halting start this year, and they have not played their best football even in the games they have won.

See All Tales of the Tape
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,466 other followers