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Get Sucked Into A Jet Engine, Then Spit Out? Got A Hickey? New Medical Codes That Are Making Your Doctor Weep

It's a day the health care system has been dreading for a long time. Actually more than 36 years of dread. Doctors, hospitals and other health provider must now use a code to make a diagnosis, bill you, and get paid. It took effect Oct. 1.

And before you say, well, it's not my problem, get ready. It sure very well is a headache for you as well.

It's called ICD-10. The official name is "International Classification of Diseases - 10th Edition. Many in the medical field call it something else, but the terms aren't printable in present company.

It replaces ICD-9, which has been around for more than 35 years. And while not perfect, ICD-9 sure seemed a lot simpler.

And that's why a number of us are crying. But more on our sorrows in a second.

The new system is very specific. As in VERY SPECIFIC.

Let's say you cranked your back shoveling some dirt, or bending over funny. The billing or referral code for an exam or X-ray or a referral used to be pretty simple: 847.2 Gosh, I think most of that had that memorized.

The new system code for that is S39.012A. Sure, that's a little longer than the old one and intended to specify what was hurt, how you hurt it, where you hurt it, and how many times you've been treated for that hurt. Okay, maybe that helps the bean-counters when it comes to approving your insurance bill, or whether you need an X-ray or an MRI.

But then it kind of gets a little crazy, as in I think the government workers who designed this were drinking energy drinks by the buckets when they wrote this all up.

For example, here's health care gone wild:

There's now a code for a hickey: S10.87.XA

Getting sucked into a jet engine, spit out, and then sucked in again: V97.33XD

Hate your in-laws? How about V63.1?

Or how about being burned by water skis? Y93D:V91.07XD (I didn't know water skis were flammable)

We've even got codes for being plucked by a chicken, or if you'd be unfortunate enough to be crushed between the jaws of a crocodile.

So what does this all mean to you? Well, it's not clear yet. Sure, we are now more stressed and have to put more time into paperwork rather than patient care. We can't be off a digit, or else your insurer will kick back the claim. We've already had trouble getting tests done, or referrals approved.

And I'm not sure when it's going to get better. We've all had to take classes and courses on this over the past 6 months (in addition to keeping up with the latest in real medicine). But even that may not help. A pilot study on this at a medical center in Chicago showed a 27 percent error rate -- meaning they mis-billed more than one in four! And what about offices, insurers, etc. who now have to hire more people to fix these errors or make the system run more smoothly? I know I'm for job creation, but that also can mean higher medical bills or co-payments.

The government says this new system will be more efficient and save money. Well, they sure ought to know about that stuff.

In the meantime, we'll do the best we can, and maybe you'll be lucky on the say you come in to see us. We won't be hunched over a laptop mumbling under our breath during your visit. And if you're really lucky, we might even have time to use a stethoscope or get to practice some other old-fashioned real medicine.

Oh BTW, the code for crying doctors is R45.83. (no kidding)

Dr. Dave Hnida is CBS4's Medical Editor. He blogs about the latest studies and trends in the health world. Read his latest blog entries, check out his bio or follow him on Twitter @drdavehnida

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